I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
