Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Two words: blizzard sex
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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