Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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