hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
