Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
