he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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