I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
