im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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