Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
