....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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