so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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