I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
