Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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(828): View more from North Carolina

everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(235): View more from

I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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(740): View more from Ohio

I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.

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