hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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