i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
