So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize