I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
