Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
