dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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