Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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