Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Randomize
