note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
