A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
