yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
