I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize