Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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