Where are you?
In a non slutty way
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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