Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize