Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
