1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
