WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
