Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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