Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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