I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
