You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
