youre lurking in front of me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
