I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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