Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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