we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize