My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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