I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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