their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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