To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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