I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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