There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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