what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She needs sedatives and a leash
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
