Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
