That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
