the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
