And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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