So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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