he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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