3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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