I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
