dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
