her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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