I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
