Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
