We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my being single is dangerous.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
