So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
