Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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