i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
