looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
