Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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