one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize